As a die-hard pokéfan having my first Nintendo in my 30s, you can only imagine how my eyes shined when I watched those Pokémon Sword & Shield trailers throughout the year.
What you didn’t expect though is how dull my eyes got right in the first minute of my Pokémon Shield gameplay. (Yeah, I refuse to accept a wolf biting a sword.)
Seriously, the wonder faded away so fast I even started reconsidering my purchase although this is what I’ve been waiting for 20 years.
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Why is Pokémon Sword and Shield bad?
Disgraceful Sound Design
Your frustration will begin with the good old introduction to the pokémon world, but this time carried by Chairman Rose instead of a professor — and the great news is that it’s now in cinematic style!
Except for the fact you’ll also be introduced to an annoying soundtrack that will stalk you throughout the whole game. Seriously, it feels like I’m back to my PlayStation 1 when trashy, generic sounds were the norm.
Anyone who played titles like Breath of the Wild and Mario+Rabbids will have their ears bleeding due to the horrible notes and sound transitions that simply do not match.
Not to mention the voices / cries will make yourself cry:
Pokémon Sw&Sh uses the same shitty techy cries from Pokémon Go, so Charizard’s roar sounds like my Yorkshire with a sore throat. The chairman, on the other hand, is mute: 20 years wasn’t enough to get Game Freak hiring voice actors, so you don’t hear a single voice throughout the whole game.
Is Pokémon Sword and Shield open world?
No, but it’s worse: you wake up in your mother’s house and notice that the right stick doesn’t change the camera — meaning Pokémon Sw&Sh’s camera is locked unlike the trailers suggested.
There’s the wild area, where your camera moves freely, but the place is not big enough to be called an open-world.
Oh, and now might be a good time to talk about loading screens: there are screen transitions every fucking where!
- Left a room? Black screen.
- Finished a conversation? Black screen.
- Entered a place that you could see the inside? Black screen.
Gosh, this guy approached to give me a potion and then I faced a short loading so he could get to his spot TEN STEPS AWAY from me. Unbelievable!
Pokémon Sword and Shield’s rivals suck
Look at this retard above (on the left) and tell me if you can take him seriously.
Not only Hop is a friendly rival you won’t be motivated to overtake, but he’s also stupid: he’ll pick whatever starter is weak against yours and he’ll only use it after you already have a super effective move — confirming that Pokémon Sword & Shield was designed to be an easy game.
The Galar League Champion, his brother Leon, is also a friendly trainer whom you won’t ever be motivated to take down unless you are sick of everyone fawning over him from minute one.
There’s a second rival you’d like to see dead, called Bede, but he won’t show up enough to get you motivated.
Are all the Pokémon in Sword and Shield?
No, not only there are version exclusive pokémon to each version as always, some 300 past pokémon were left out of the game in favour of disk space and faster release date, according to Nintendo & Game Freak.
New players may not care about it, but if you are the kind of people that likes to bring pokémon from other games such as Pokémon Go and previous gens, you’ll probably lose some of your team mates as you start Sw & Sh.
This caused an outrage among breeders (pro players that breed their own pokémon), especially because Nintendo claimed modelling characters takes a long time although most pokémon are exactly like we saw in Pokémon Let’s Go.
Why is Pokémon Sword and Shield Good?
Max Raid Battles
I’m writing this chapter May/20 and there’s only one reason for that: Max Raid kept me playing up to this day!
Moving across the wild area you’ll find some pit holes emitting a huge beam of light towards the sky. Hit it and a gigantic pokémon like this Mewtwo above will show up to take you and your mates down.
Why is it fun? I have no idea but my friends and I keep playing as if we hadn’t caught the same pokémon 20 times yesterday. There’s something inherently fascinating at seeing a gigantamax pokémon in a 60″ screen.
Leaving visuals aside, max raid pokémons can have hidden abilities and egg moves, making your raid hunting ever more addicting.
Tall grass visibility
You’ll dislike this game for about twenty minutes, but that’s before you visit Slumbering Weald and notice that new pokémon such as Rookidee and Skwovet are visible on tall grass like we have seen in recent games.
Some pokémon may show up out of nowhere but calm down: having a 10-year-old playing in the woods with fire-spitting creatures is no trouble since your stupid rival will be there to heal you.
Exp Share even catching Pokémon
All pokémon in your party will receive experience points after battles — including when you finish the battle catching the pokémon.
Some may say this is bad since levelling up your whole party will make things easy like never before, but one thing is for sure: you’ll be grateful when you need a strong party to face the league.
I just wonder where were Game Freak designers when programmers were developing this panel ↑ that hides your pokémon in the corner. (Did I tell you camera angles often fail in this game? It’s sadly amateurish.)
Pokémon Sword & Shield Character Customisation
Skipping forward to Wedgehurst city you’ll realise that the 30K yens you received for no reason can be spent in trainer apparel.
The trainer boutique is placed on the centre-left-corner of the city and sells t‑shirts, pants, shoes, glasses and much more. There’s also a fitting room that you should check first because there is apparel in your storage, so make sure you try those before buying repeated clothing or apparel that won’t match.
New Pokémon Center
The new Pokémon Center Café not only includes a nurse but also a Name Rater and Move Reminder at very same place, along with the Pokémart we’ve seen in Sun & Moon.
The new healing animation is great, but even better is the girl at the door thrashing horoscope believers — fun enough to make you forget all the trash you saw up to now.
Oh, and remember the centre’s computer system? You can forget it! ↓
New Pokémon Storage System
As you get to Route 2, you’ll be catching your sixth pokémon and realising that Nickit, Chewtle, and every other pokémon you catch from now on can be managed before being sent to your professor.
That means you no longer need to hurry to a nearby computer to check a pokémon’s stats or switch it with one in your party: you simply select if you either want to send or keep it the moment you catch it.
Regret your choice? Your boxes are accessible at all times so pokémon can be brought into your team whenever you want.
Y‑Comm Surprise Trading & Online Battle
Who never wanted to get rid of a Zubat? The new Pokémon Y‑Comm System gets you online to do amazing stuff such as Surprise Trading: select a pokémon you no longer want and leave it to be surprised by a pokémon of another trainer. (And that might be a level 100 mon!)
The Link Battle system also lets you find real trainers to battle any time you want, discarding the need of going to a specific place or using cables. (GBA feelings…)
So is Pokémon Sword & Shield worth buying?
Pokémon remains a solid game for good old fans but still doesn’t provide a “modern gameplay experience” for hardcore players.
The game certainly isn’t bad but it is not as amazing as it was marketed, and that’s especially clear when you notice how inferior its controls and audio are when compared to b‑games such as Super Lucky’s Adventures.
That said, new players would benefit from a casual gaming experience or online play (which requires a Nintendo Online subscription), which makes you question even more if Sw&Sh is worth the money.
Unless you are also a hardcore player or have U$59 to spare, you’d probably do better spending that same amount on Mario + Rabbids or Breath of the Wild.
